Renewing my motivation

I finally made it to the gym today and although it wasn't as long as my usual hour and a half workout, I feel a lot better than I did yesterday. I ended up doing 2 sets of strength training for each of the major muscle groups, taking me about 40 min. It wasn't much but certainly funny how I feel "healthier" and "skinnier" already.

You can probably tell from my posts lately that I haven't had much significant progress in the past 2 months or so. My weight has been fluctuating a lot, and what I've been doing is basically gaining and re-losing the same 2-3 kg.
Sadly this week is the same...

My weight plottings:

Graph 1: Past 4 weeks

Graph 2: Past 2 months

You can see that I've been going up and down a lot, but nowhere closer to my short term 60-kg goal line. See how nicely I've been floating above the red goal line in the second graph? erggh.

I think I need to go back and reflect, and re-new my motivation, dig it out from one of my memory drawers. I need to ask myself what is it that I really want and remember the promises that I've made myself. Okay here goes.

My reasons for starting out on this journey:

1. I want to feel good about myself
Growing up, I've always been a fat kid and teenager. I want to get rid of the "fat kid" mentality and low self-esteem. Whether on the inside (feeling good) or on the outside (looking good), I think it's all interrelated and I want to feel good inside-out.

2. I want to accomplish something
I set out to lose my excess fat (not 'weight'), and I've promised myself that this time it will be different. I want to prove to myself that I CAN do what I set out to do.

3. I want to prove to others that they're wrong
I've heard too much misleading fat talk for the most of my life. From reasons as to why I got big (it "runs in the family"), to how to go about losing weight ("just do cardio whenever you can," pills and fad diets, etc.), I want to prove to those people that it can be done, and be done the right way.

4. I want this to be the last ever diet that I go on
I want this to be fun and maintainable, I want this to be a whole new lifestyle, not just another diet. I want me to be able to keep going, and to be able to maintain any and all results.

I am doing this for no one else but myself! I need to keep that in mind. And I am the only one responsible. Fat or skinny (or just right), this is my body and I have to love it and live with it.


This week is (yet) another 3-day weekend.
I have to try to be active and work my way down that graph.

In the meantime, have a great weekend all!!

Feeling fat Thursday

Today is one of those days when I'm feeling very fat.

Maybe it's because the weather is so gloomy. Maybe it's because my white turtleneck sweater is not very flattering and the ridiculous length makes my butt look huge. (Or maybe my butt really IS huge). Maybe it's the stress and frustration I'm feeling from my mindless, repetitive work. Maybe it's the comment I received from my boss at lunchtime, "wassit that you lost a bunch of weight a while back?" -- i.e. that I've gained most of it back already? Maybe it's because I haven't been to the gym since Sunday. Maybe it's because of all the pudding and cookies that I ate last night..

Maybe it's just nothing in particular, really.

Or maybe it's everything.

Sigh. I don't know if I'm making any sense. The weather makes me feel so gloomy and I feel like I'm not ready for winter yet. I need a bit more sun for me to be outside running around in.

I need to get my ass over to the gym tonight and get a good workout and hot bath.

Hope you all having a better day than mine! <3

Coming out of hiding

Hello all!! Sorry for disappearing from Blogworld these few weeks. I am still lingering here but I haven't gotten myself to write. I'm trying to lose back my vacay weight (again) and am a bit overwhelmed by thoughts and pending decisions on what to do with myself on the non-diet related side of life.

Diet-wise I am doing alright, not SUPERB, but trying to get back on track with my eating and exercise. I still owe myself a body composition test and pictures!! Eeks. I will do that soon.

Here's to a brand new week, brand new start <3
(I missed you all so much!!!)

Wonderful weather, peachy mood

This week we just sent away another typhoon from Japan, up up and away. When typhoons leave the skies clear up and the days are so bright and cheerful. The only thing is that now winter is close, the days are much shorter and the sky is pretty dark by 4:40, 4:45 p.m. Which means when I leave my office and head for the gym at 6:30 it's usually pitch dark. I used to be so jealous of people who get to leave at 5:00 because they get to leave the office during "daytime," but I guess now it's pretty much all the same.

I'm back to routine and common sense. Been eating sensibly, and relost my pre-TOM weight. I think I tend to fluctuate a lot around this time of the month, usually 2-3 kg. And I mean a gain of course, heh heh.

I'm taking a week off next week and going home for no particular occasion, but just to do the things I can't do here. For good food, family, friends and some guilt-free shopping. In Japan everything is so expensive I feel payyne when I buy stuff here (but occasional pain is OK). Partially because everything costs at least "a couple grand" here it feels really expensive. Must be a mental thing too.

Tonight's workout will be something fun, maybe belly dance, and I'll continue to eat healthy today. Almost time for my third 3-month challenge weigh-in! uh oh. But I'll be fine, either way ;)
Have a great one all!!